Life on Salt Spring

Day 324 - April 1st 2009 - Islanders easily fooled?

I was thoroughly amused by this week's Driftwood (our local weekly paper) front page. It said:

"Bush buys Island Parcel. South End acreage ideal for duck-hunting."

Apparently as told to the Driftwood by a realtor, not wishing to be named, the Microsoft Yacht Octopus was anchored off the South end of Salt Spring Island and the Bushes and the Secret Service were touring properties. The ex-president was also apparently in good spirits joking that his twin daughters and their families will love the free healthcare and won't have to order prescriptions online anymore...

Hilarious. The piece was very well done. I heard from people all over the island that they or their partners were throwing down their papers in disgust and wondering (aloud) what can or should be done. As if we could do anything anyway.

Although I think the best one goes to a sandwich board outside a popular bakery on the main road from Ganges to Fulford a few years back. Red sign, yellow "M" and "Coming Soon" underneath...

Day 283 - February 18th 2009

Flying Visits - Food for Thought!

So, I had a wonderful time at the baby shower! I got to surprise the mom to be, meet lots of new people, experience a different culture, be amazed by the number of women with perfect eyebrows, eat wonderful yummy Indian food and delicious spiced tea, catch up with clients turned friends AND experience what it's like to be put on a pedestal...

Whenever I was introduced it was "This is Emma who I've told you so much about...", or a friend or cousin would come over and would be pointing interestedly behind me (supposedly without me seeing) "So, this is the 'famous' Emma - your lifecoach???"

So, as Rav drove me to the ferry I had been busy lecturing her (and no that isn't what lifecoaching is about!) about how she needs to charge more for her services - she runs an event organizing business with the mom-to-be. I had been busy pointing out that she doesn't value what she does enough, that not everyone has the organizational skills and creativity that they have, and that they were under-selling themselves...

Anyhow, we were early (I had checked the timetable this time) so she mentioned that she noticed I had been uncomfortable when she introduced me to people. I confessed I had been. That I felt like they had put me on a pedestal - crediting me with far more than I had actually done as their life-coach. And the problem with pedestals is that it's easy to fall off and get broken. I valued their friendship and was afraid things might change when they found out I was human after all... You see I believe the changes and growth my clients achieve is all their own doing. All I do is give them some one-on-one attention, help them look inside and see who they really are, what they want from life and take action to make it happen.

Well. Right back at me! As our chat progressed, Rav pointed out that perhaps I didn't value what I had done enough! That not everyone has the skills to listen and help people grow, to share new perspectives without telling people how to be, to truly encourage and support and allow people to unfold their own way of being in the world.

So, since then I have been pondering. I want to inspire people to be authentic, to have the life of their dreams, to create their own happiness, to grow spiritually. That's one of the reasons I started this blog - to inspire people to get in touch with their values and do something different with their lives like we have.

But isn't it a bit silly to want to inspire people, and then when people tell me I've done just that, to say "Who me? No. Don't be silly!"

So, that's my project. To become comfortable with being in the spotlight occasionally. To accept a compliment and believe it. To truly believe that I can be an inspiration to others. Because I'm not done with inspiring people just yet! I have PLANS!

To wrap up - I believe WE ALL have the CAPACITY TO INSPIRE OTHERS. Through what we say, do or perhaps simply just by being ourselves. And if I have to get used to it - so can you! 

Day 250 - January 16th 2009

Post-Christmas Garbage

So, Salt Spring is not immune to litter either. And I found this is a way out of town so it can't be blamed on the 'tourists'. I was on the way back from a walk with Dexter (on my own) and decided as the snow and ice had finally gone to walk back via the road.

Well, underneath all that snow and ice was a lot of garbage. It started with 3 cardboard boxes just at the side of the road and by the time I had walked maybe 100-150ft this is what I had collected! It included a FULL unopened bottle of beer, cracked glass beer mug, a nearly full packet of cigarettes (someone tossing things out of the window for their resolutions on new year's eve?), gift-wrapping, plastic bags, many take-out cups, containers and drink bottles, a clip-on earring and a sock. Thankfully no underpants or used prophylactics... (did I spell that right?)

I didn't intend to go collecting litter, I just couldn't bring myself to walk past it. I kept trying - it was a cold and wet morning - but something almost made me do it! And thankfully I was wearing (old) gloves.

Every time a car whizzed past me I hoped they saw what I was doing.

I couldn't carry the box home AND keep Dexter on a short leash (without covering myself in garbage at some point) so I left the box on the corner - to go back and pick up next time we drove past.

And what was really nice is that someone else must have done it - because when I looked for it it had gone! I guess it's back to that possibly overused - but still very valid - quote from Gandhi, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Day 205 - December 2nd 2008

Email Sabbatical Update ( and Confession!) 

OK, so I confess. I have been checking email. It started off innocently enough: I had some tasks to do for a networking group for which I am on the board - and most things are done by email. But while I was there I would just quickly check other things and open and delete others. And before I knew it at the end of last week I was - again - feeling overwhelmed by email.

So this week I am REALLY testing myself. I last checked email Sunday night - and whilst I have sent one email (I promised a website link to someone) I have not hit the very tempting "Send and Receive" Button.

Now it is only Tuesday afternoon. But I think (apart from holidays) that this is a record for me.

Interestingly what I have learned so far:

1. Basically I am the problem... Yes, others (that I know and don't know) may send me email - often when a phonecall could be simpler or faster - but it's ME that interrupts my work to check email.
2. If I don't check my email until lunchtime (I have done this a lot recently) I have a VERY PRODUCTIVE morning.
3. I keep checking email because I fear them growing out of control. It's the old, "A stitch in time saves nine" metaphor - but on steroids! Constantly checking email to avoid a backlog just interrupts my work, feeds any procrastinative (is that a word?) impulses I may have and makes me significantly less productive.
4. I feel obliged to reply to all my emails. And with the volume I get, that means I feel like I am constantly sprinting just to stay on top of them. I worry that people will think I am rude if I don't reply. Isn't it interesting that we have this societal need to be polite - to not hurt other's feelings. In the email arena this means we put other's needs before our own - by spending our precious time replying to unsolicited emails - sometimes from people we don't even know!
5. I worry what I might be missing out on. This is a very human condition - we don't like to feel excluded! And in business who knows what might come through via email? For example - I recently got a lucrative contract as a spokesperson via an initial email - and replying promptly. The most valid fears are the hardest to beat...

Technology is amazing AND yes, we are using it to stay in touch (and get back in touch!) more. But somehow we are becoming more DISconnnected with what's really important. Real 'in-time' contact - whether quality time with family and friends, a business meeting or a phonecall.

Like everyone else I use email because it's very convenient. We can fire something off quickly and with little effort by email. When we pick up the phone we need to think things through beforehand, and make an effort to be pleasant and professional. Email allows us to just type, review (some people miss this step...) and send - whatever mood we are in - with least effort.

So. I'm not going to check email until next Monday - and we'll see then if the world has ended...

Watch for future updates!

The Great Make-up Debate - Part II

Do women really look horrible without make-up? 

So, recently I have had a visit from a local 'Mary Kay' lady. She was very nice - helpful, encouraging and very well dressed (especially for Salt Spring!).

Now I LOVE make-up - it's like art - but on your face. I just wish I LOVED how I look without make-up as much as I love how I look with it, and this of course is what I'm working on. In fact this week I actually went out - to a number of stores - with glasses on AND no make-up! I am getting brave...

So, back to my 'Mary Kay' visit. We had a little pampering session where I tried various lotions, potions and then a little make-up. And so it was that I mentioned she had picked an interesting market - Salt Spring - where so few women actually wear make-up.

Her response was vehement, "And don't they look HORRIBLE!" Goodness. Here I am, trying to learn to love how I look without make-up and a fellow woman is saying how horrible women on Salt Spring look without make-up...

Now, to be fair, this is a bit like going to the hairdresser and expecting them to OK the fact that you only have your hair cut once a year...

Day 168 - October 27th 2008

Email Sabbatical - Progress Report 1

What is an email sabbatical? That's a very good question. Well, since July (August really) I have been trying to make/find/create the time to work on life-coaching products. This is my dream - to have a website that is a resource for individuals AND fellow life-coaches.

So, I start things, I have great ideas - and for a lot of the products it simply means simply tweaking what I've been using with my clients. But my dream never seems to happen or move forwards.

And I know email is a big part of the problem. 1) Volume, 2) New and interesting opportunities and enquiries that come through via email and 3) My inability to NOT CHECK EMAIL, distract myself and get caught up in 1) and 2).

So, this email sabbatical is an experiment. The auto-responder telling people went on last Thursday lunchtime at 12.00pm. And since then I have had a few realizations...

REALIZATION NUMBER 1. In preparation for switching on my auto-responder, I began to unsubscribe from lots of newsletters and ezines. I hadn't realised I subscribed to SO MANY! and by this morning my email had already reduced significantly! I unsubscribed from a few more and it seems by head is already clearer...

REALIZATION NUMBER 2. The pull of email is stronger than I realised. I spent an hour going through my email (although I did make a couple of phone calls instead of write emails) before I even realised that the time had gone. And each of those emails I responded to already knows I'm on sabbatical because they will have received my auto-responder response. I am more of the problem than I realised...

REALIZATION NUMBER 3. The phone - takes more 'personal' effort than email. Maybe that's why we use email when really a phonecall would be quicker/easier. If you phone, you have to think about what you're going to say, be bright and cheery, look up the phone number and USE YOUR INTERPERSONAL SKILLS! It's more tiring than sitting down and whizzing off an email. But the phone is also better for creating a HUMAN CONNECTION. More on this later.

I think I am going to have to wean myself off email rather than go cold turkey... Enjoy your week people!

A 'City' Break to Victoria...

So, we took a 'city' break for a couple of days, setting off Wednesday and returning Saturday morning.

I know I know. But Victoria IS a city-break if you live on Salt Spring - and it IS the capital of BC...

So, why do so many people in Victoria wear hats (that aren't baseball hats)?I know it's getting chillier out there and Fall is on the way. But I really don't think I've seen so many people wearing (non-baseball)hats in one place before! Maybe it's all the students in Victoria? Or maybe it's all the funky (as in cool and hip - not smelly!) little places we kept finding - maybe 'hat-people' hang out in funky places?

And WHO ARE all the people hanging around in coffee shops mid-morning and mid-afternoon? Before becoming a life-coach and running my own business I used to work 9-5 (and sometimes 8-7!) rarely leaving the office. Sad but true. So, on our Victoria visit, whenever we stopped for coffee or had brunch (we did that every day!) places were packed full of people relaxing, chatting. It wasn't lunchtime. It wasn't the weekend. And they weren't all students.

I can only surmise that as an office-worker I led a very boring and sheltered life. And all those people hanging around in the middle of the day in coffee shops are much more interesting (and relaxed) than I used to be. Or maybe it's just a West Coast thing versus London thing?

All in we had a fabulous time eating, drinking, strolling around, visiting the castle, fisherman's wharf (being startled by a seal and enjoying the floating houses there), hanging out in coffee shops, walking the sea wall and checking out various funky and eclectic clothes, gift and furniture shops!

Our personal Victoria awards go to:
Best Brunch: Mo:Le on 554 Pandora Avenue
Best Dinner: Brasserie l'Ecole on 1715 Government St
Best Live Music: Tom Hooper (formerly of Grapes of Wrath) at new pub Bard & Banker
Most likely to be repeated wrongly Pub name: The Bard & Banker (ask a Brit to explain this) 1022 Government St

Day 129 - September 18th 2008

Budgeting is Boring - Part 1        

Well, since we've moved to Salt Spring, budgeting has become a necessity. I'm now following a new direction with my business - and not taking on any new clients. Duncan is no longer working a 'normal' job as he is renovating the house.

What we have found from budgeting is that we spend less... No surprise there eh?

Well, actually I was surprised. Usually it doesn't make any difference...

But it's amazing once you sit down and come up with a REASONABLE budget - how the urge to spend naturally reduces.

Now I stress the word REASONABLE. Most people think of budgets as a CONSTRAINT - something that is 1) a hassle, 2) stops them having fun, 3) is boring and 4) takes too much time. (Sorry Mom! She's an accountant!)

Well, we now have a budget for alcohol, for weekends away and holidays, for personal expenditure (which we don't need to justify to each other), for entertainment (eg. dvds, eating out) and for 'treats' which might include a massage or occasional bottle of champagne.

Now some of you may be thinking "That's not a budget!". But I think that's why it works. Because it DOESN'T constrain us. We SPEND LESS, it's EASY and FEELS GREAT! Because it maintains our dream of living here on Salt Spring (for the budget to work - it helps if it's linked to a goal or dream).

I used to buy all sorts of little 'treats' while I was out - and they really added up. Of course I didn't NEED any of them. With a budget, I realise it's going to impact the budget we've set, so I resist the urge to buy - get home and feel great!

And we actually have massages now, we still eat out and have treats. But it's guilt free. And did I mention we SPEND LESS?

TV - Entertainment or Life-drainer?

Well, I think it's both. But because it can be so hypnotic I would err on the life-drainer side...

I wonder how much TV you watch? One of the things that often amazes me is how much time TV watching takes up. And what I could be doing instead...

Even here on Salt Spring - with no TV channels - we easily fell into a habit of watching 2 or 3 episodes of The Good Life or Frasier of an evening. And then suddenly it would be bedtime. Whoops!

So, we're now paying attention again - and making sure TV (however selective) is not an unconscious habit. Sometimes we'll go in the hot-tub. Sometimes we'll read a book. I've just signed up for an evening writing class AND an exercise class. We could be going through all the ideas we have for our property, planning our vegetable plantings (well WE find that fun), or do some baking (yum!) or go to bed early and feel great the next day. Boring? Maybe - but it FEELS great!

In short, we could be planning or enjoying our lives (doing something ACTIVE) instead of sitting there being entertained (PASSIVE).

One truism that ALWAYS amazes me - is that we spend more time planning our holidays than planning our lives. And yet I'm sure we spend more time watching TV than planning our holidays.

Now, don't get me wrong. Some TV watching can be great - when we're too tired to do anything else, or really need some uplifting entertainment. These days I know we're often tired, stressed or overwhelmed (or all 3!). But don't let that deter you from prioritising YOU.

So many people have said, "I envy you.", "I wish we could do what you're doing." Well, it's taken many years of planning and gradual shifts. A lot of hard work. And it still is...

But add your TV watching up. And then ask yourself, "Is this what I want from my life?" To spend my time watching other people's lives? To be advertised at by big companies who want me to buy their stuff? 

Or do you want to live YOUR life?

To all those workaholic clients of mine I always say, no-one looks back over their life and wishes they'd spent more time at work. And I bet no-one will say I wish I'd watched more TV...

A New Wave...

Spreading the love - or just a smile perhaps?

It's been a while since I've mused so I though I would share my plan to save the world... It all started with walking the dog.

On my road only (I don't do it all over the island - well not thoroughly anyway!) I now wave and smile at ALL passing traffic.

It started with just waving. Then it graduated to waving AND smiling. And most recently I have added in trying to make eye contact. Now sometimes I have to guess where the eyes are because of glare off the windscreen (your windshield in North America!). But I AM trying!

Now, often people don't notice or are too busy on their cellphones BUT maybe about 50% of the time I get a smile and wave back and I get a little thrill! It's fun!

Why? Well, I figured it's a great way to spread happiness and meet people. One day I'll be out with the dog and they'll be on foot or in their gardens and they'll recognize me as that crazy waving girl and will stop to have a conversation. Or perhaps it'll be raining and there's a puddle and they'll give me an extra wide berth or offer me a ride - because they feel like they know me. Or I'll see them in town and they'll say hello in person! Self-serving? Maybe. But I also genuinely enjoy (in this busy and increasingly impersonal world) making that connection.

Now I recently mentioned my waving plan to a caring member of my family. The response was mild horror...