Life on Salt Spring

Day 340 - April 17th 2009 - Cleaning Companions

Well, we've made lots of friends on Salt Spring, but now have friends in Vancouver to stay in touch with as well as our friends in the UK.

And I have discovered a great way to do this. The phone. Of course you're saying - I do this all the time!

But for me, by the time the evening comes round, if I don't have something 'on' then I like to chill and switch off. On the weekends, I'm out and about or I'm busy in the garden. And during the day, I want to be busy doing working on my business. So the problem is WHEN to chat with friends?

Well, by accident, after agreeing a Friday afternoon catch-up call with a friend, we discovered we had both been cleaning our bathrooms while chatting!

And there it is. We have become cleaning companions. Pick a job you don't like to do (that doesn't take much thought or you won't be listening to your friend!) and do the job together while on the phone.

I completely forgot I was doing a job I disliked and had a FABULOUS time chatting and catching up with my friend. And at the end we both had clean bathrooms.

Now there's an idea! What 'job' would you do with your cleaning companion?

Day 329 - April 6th 2009 - Givin' it the finger!

So, it's over 2 weeks now since Duncan trapped his finger between the pick-axe handle and a big rock while helping my brother build a wood-shed.The pick-axe apparently sank further into the ground than he expected and he not only ripped the nail right out of the nail-bed but also fractured his fingertip.

Luckily(?) it was on his left-hand but, because of the fracture, he is supposed to be 'resting' it. This makes everything hard; using the computer, washing up, putting crockery away, vacuuming (apparently it's a heavy vacuum), digging the garden, bringing in logs for the fire.

Actually Duncan has been doing a pretty good job of most things, but I am finding I have a few extra chores to do around the house. AND I had to do all the manual labour when we put the raspberry canes in last week (which was well worth it as I LOVE raspberries). Luckily we had dug all our other plants in the previous weekend or I would be completely knackered!

Still, it's made us both realise how much we take for granted. Not our 'health' per se - although I think that's true for most of us until we get sick. But we take for granted our physical mobility and what truly amazing tools are hands actually are.

Also we think it's the same fingertip on the same hand that Duncan's mom lost in an electric window 'accident' a few years back. Could be a spooky-family-thing...

Day 325 - April 2nd 2009 - Dog as Teacher...

So recently we went on holiday to Mexico - my first trip and our first holiday featuring lots of sunshine in over 4 years. Our last two summer 'holidays' were in fact to our place here on Salt Spring where we pulled broom and thistles and moved house.

Anyhow, where am I going with this? While on holiday we saw a lot of stray dogs. And actually they were surprisingly well-treated, fed and healthy-looking (if you discount fleas). Apparently this is unusual - but in the town of Todos Santos on the Baja peninsula this was the case.

So, one night, we're having our dinner at a restaurant in town and this dog comes in. Or should I say slinks in.

BUT, when he made eye contact with a human his whole posture changed, his ears pricked up, and in a way I have NEVER in my life seen before the whole lower two-thirds of his body vigorously wagged his tail. He was so vigorous it looked like he was doing "Extreme Cha-cha-cha". He made each human he connected with feel like THE MOST popular and lovable person on the planet.

Of course every human in the place melted under such adoration. And then when he got fed, he went into TOTAL submission. Puppy-dog eyes, soft, laid-back ears and he was so gentle and grateful for every scrap.

Yes, normal dog behaviour. But taken to an extreme I have never seen before - and he was so SUCCESSFUL!

It reminded me of something Dale Carnegie talks about - that the dog is the only animal that doesn't have to work for a living - it earns its place by giving you nothing but love. And Dale Carnegie translated this as "Make friends by being genuinely interested in people."

But it also got me thinking. How we all just want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. And that dog's focus and adoration just said UNCONDITIONALLY "You're fantastic, you're exciting, I LOVE you right just as you are."

I watched the dog do the rounds in the restaurant and not a single human was able to resist his love, enthusiasm and gratitude. In fact if I lived in Mexico, I would have adopted him and called him "Mr Wags".

So, if it's so easy to make us feel good that dogs have it nailed - how come us 'intelligent' humans can make each other so miserable without trying?

Day 324 - April 1st 2009 - Islanders easily fooled?

I was thoroughly amused by this week's Driftwood (our local weekly paper) front page. It said:

"Bush buys Island Parcel. South End acreage ideal for duck-hunting."

Apparently as told to the Driftwood by a realtor, not wishing to be named, the Microsoft Yacht Octopus was anchored off the South end of Salt Spring Island and the Bushes and the Secret Service were touring properties. The ex-president was also apparently in good spirits joking that his twin daughters and their families will love the free healthcare and won't have to order prescriptions online anymore...

Hilarious. The piece was very well done. I heard from people all over the island that they or their partners were throwing down their papers in disgust and wondering (aloud) what can or should be done. As if we could do anything anyway.

Although I think the best one goes to a sandwich board outside a popular bakery on the main road from Ganges to Fulford a few years back. Red sign, yellow "M" and "Coming Soon" underneath...

Day 321 - March 29th 2009 - Spring is here

Well, in the last couple of days a few of our daffodils have come out, I've seen Bumble bees, Rufous hummingbirds at the feeder (back from Mexico) and today I actually ate lunch in the sunshine on the deck. FABULOUS!

It's amazing how once you start growing food and being closer to nature how important the seasons, weather and sunshine become. Before, when the clocks changed or we had a sunny day it would be 'nice' or 'interesting'. It might mean I travel to or from work in the dark or get an extra hour's sleep.

But now, the extra light means we can work the land outside for longer. The Sunshine is good for warming the soil and helps with seed germination. The end of the risk of frost will mean we can plant more vegetables. And as the sun's arc gradually gets higher in the sky it rises and sets ABOVE the trees on our ridge so we get more direct sunshine. Even moonshine makes a significant difference when you don't have streetlighting!

I'm beginning to personally understand why we used to worship the sun, follow the planet's cycles, worship nature and celebrate solstices!

Day 283 - February 18th 2009

Flying Visits - Food for Thought!

So, I had a wonderful time at the baby shower! I got to surprise the mom to be, meet lots of new people, experience a different culture, be amazed by the number of women with perfect eyebrows, eat wonderful yummy Indian food and delicious spiced tea, catch up with clients turned friends AND experience what it's like to be put on a pedestal...

Whenever I was introduced it was "This is Emma who I've told you so much about...", or a friend or cousin would come over and would be pointing interestedly behind me (supposedly without me seeing) "So, this is the 'famous' Emma - your lifecoach???"

So, as Rav drove me to the ferry I had been busy lecturing her (and no that isn't what lifecoaching is about!) about how she needs to charge more for her services - she runs an event organizing business with the mom-to-be. I had been busy pointing out that she doesn't value what she does enough, that not everyone has the organizational skills and creativity that they have, and that they were under-selling themselves...

Anyhow, we were early (I had checked the timetable this time) so she mentioned that she noticed I had been uncomfortable when she introduced me to people. I confessed I had been. That I felt like they had put me on a pedestal - crediting me with far more than I had actually done as their life-coach. And the problem with pedestals is that it's easy to fall off and get broken. I valued their friendship and was afraid things might change when they found out I was human after all... You see I believe the changes and growth my clients achieve is all their own doing. All I do is give them some one-on-one attention, help them look inside and see who they really are, what they want from life and take action to make it happen.

Well. Right back at me! As our chat progressed, Rav pointed out that perhaps I didn't value what I had done enough! That not everyone has the skills to listen and help people grow, to share new perspectives without telling people how to be, to truly encourage and support and allow people to unfold their own way of being in the world.

So, since then I have been pondering. I want to inspire people to be authentic, to have the life of their dreams, to create their own happiness, to grow spiritually. That's one of the reasons I started this blog - to inspire people to get in touch with their values and do something different with their lives like we have.

But isn't it a bit silly to want to inspire people, and then when people tell me I've done just that, to say "Who me? No. Don't be silly!"

So, that's my project. To become comfortable with being in the spotlight occasionally. To accept a compliment and believe it. To truly believe that I can be an inspiration to others. Because I'm not done with inspiring people just yet! I have PLANS!

To wrap up - I believe WE ALL have the CAPACITY TO INSPIRE OTHERS. Through what we say, do or perhaps simply just by being ourselves. And if I have to get used to it - so can you! 

Day 268 - February 3rd 2009

Meet my new friend.

I was lucky enough to grow up with all my grandparents and to not only clearly remember 3 of my great-grandparents, but I also had a really good relationship with "Great-Granny" until I was 18. She had been born in 1898 - while Queen Victoria was still alive!

I now sadly have just one grandparent left and she is in England so I thought the "Friendly Visitor" program would be a great way to brighten up someone's life.

So, I visit "Auntie" for an hour or so, once a week - sometimes also stopping in at other times for a flying visit. Dexter often visits with me and is very popular!

This photo is at her recent 92nd Birthday Party wearing her favourite top and new birthday scarf knitted and gifted by another friendly visitor!

And one thing she has in common with many of us? She is also a chocaholic!

Day 250 - January 16th 2009

Post-Christmas Garbage

So, Salt Spring is not immune to litter either. And I found this is a way out of town so it can't be blamed on the 'tourists'. I was on the way back from a walk with Dexter (on my own) and decided as the snow and ice had finally gone to walk back via the road.

Well, underneath all that snow and ice was a lot of garbage. It started with 3 cardboard boxes just at the side of the road and by the time I had walked maybe 100-150ft this is what I had collected! It included a FULL unopened bottle of beer, cracked glass beer mug, a nearly full packet of cigarettes (someone tossing things out of the window for their resolutions on new year's eve?), gift-wrapping, plastic bags, many take-out cups, containers and drink bottles, a clip-on earring and a sock. Thankfully no underpants or used prophylactics... (did I spell that right?)

I didn't intend to go collecting litter, I just couldn't bring myself to walk past it. I kept trying - it was a cold and wet morning - but something almost made me do it! And thankfully I was wearing (old) gloves.

Every time a car whizzed past me I hoped they saw what I was doing.

I couldn't carry the box home AND keep Dexter on a short leash (without covering myself in garbage at some point) so I left the box on the corner - to go back and pick up next time we drove past.

And what was really nice is that someone else must have done it - because when I looked for it it had gone! I guess it's back to that possibly overused - but still very valid - quote from Gandhi, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

The Great Make-up Debate - Part II

Do women really look horrible without make-up? 

So, recently I have had a visit from a local 'Mary Kay' lady. She was very nice - helpful, encouraging and very well dressed (especially for Salt Spring!).

Now I LOVE make-up - it's like art - but on your face. I just wish I LOVED how I look without make-up as much as I love how I look with it, and this of course is what I'm working on. In fact this week I actually went out - to a number of stores - with glasses on AND no make-up! I am getting brave...

So, back to my 'Mary Kay' visit. We had a little pampering session where I tried various lotions, potions and then a little make-up. And so it was that I mentioned she had picked an interesting market - Salt Spring - where so few women actually wear make-up.

Her response was vehement, "And don't they look HORRIBLE!" Goodness. Here I am, trying to learn to love how I look without make-up and a fellow woman is saying how horrible women on Salt Spring look without make-up...

Now, to be fair, this is a bit like going to the hairdresser and expecting them to OK the fact that you only have your hair cut once a year...

Hairy Buddha

It has been quite amazing what a difference adding a dog to our household has made. Not only are we more constricted in our movements (cat-sitters are much easier to find than dog-sitters) but I have found myself having to examine myself more closely...

Anyone who has seen The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan) or any animal-psychology makeover programme knows that animals sense our energy. Cesar is all about Calm-Assertive energy, about being consistent. In order for the dog to behave and do what you ask it needs to believe you are the leader - that you're IN charge and you know what you're doing. For some dogs it doesn't take much and for others - like the lovely Dexter - it is a constant battle.

For example, when we first got Dexter he couldn't walk on a lead without literally yanking your arm off. And then every thing that wasn't a 'normal' human got barked and vigourously leapt at - often straining at the leash on just his hind-legs. Man with backpack, woman on bicycle, child on skateboard, woman in wheelchair (that was embarrassing!), black sack on the sidewalk, horse, sheep, motorbike, woman with towel on head. The list goes on. But gradually through correcting him and ignoring supposed 'threats' he is much better.

But he still pulls on the lead and won't always come when you call him. Like I said. He doesn't believe we're in charge - he thinks he is.

Hence the self-examination. Calm-Assertive Energy. What is that? How do you do that? It's harder to implement than it sounds. When Dexter is going nuts it's all too easy to yell or get frustrated. I become Tense-Frustrated. They seem to know.

So, I now find myself constantly checking my energy. Am I Calm-Assertive? Most times I am not. I may be one or the other, but rarely both. But when I focus on it and I AM Calm-Assertive, not only is Dexter easier but LIFE is much easier. No faffing around, no stress just calm getting things done.

So, this morning, having finished a good book, I took Dexter for his walk. I WAS naturally Calm-Assertive. I decided to ENJOY him. Usually I see the walk as a battle of wills and I have to be strong. Instead, I ENJOYED his big black nose, ginger eyelashes and constant testing of me. Instead I thought - he's behaving as any adoloscent would - he WON'T get his way and I WILL ENJOY the process.

And that is a good metaphor for everyday life. If we resist what IS, if we see things as a battle - they will be. Instead if we ENJOY the process of life - if we allow others to be themselves and not take it personally - AND remain calm and assertive, how much easier would OUR lives be?