Life on Salt Spring

Day 340 - April 17th 2009 - Cleaning Companions

Well, we've made lots of friends on Salt Spring, but now have friends in Vancouver to stay in touch with as well as our friends in the UK.

And I have discovered a great way to do this. The phone. Of course you're saying - I do this all the time!

But for me, by the time the evening comes round, if I don't have something 'on' then I like to chill and switch off. On the weekends, I'm out and about or I'm busy in the garden. And during the day, I want to be busy doing working on my business. So the problem is WHEN to chat with friends?

Well, by accident, after agreeing a Friday afternoon catch-up call with a friend, we discovered we had both been cleaning our bathrooms while chatting!

And there it is. We have become cleaning companions. Pick a job you don't like to do (that doesn't take much thought or you won't be listening to your friend!) and do the job together while on the phone.

I completely forgot I was doing a job I disliked and had a FABULOUS time chatting and catching up with my friend. And at the end we both had clean bathrooms.

Now there's an idea! What 'job' would you do with your cleaning companion?

Day 291 - February 26th 2009

The Coaching Tools Company.com has finally launched!!

I''m really excited to announce (after months and months of preparation and work!) the launch of my new venture catering to fellow coaches and therapists:

The Coaching Tools Company.com - Professional Coaching Tools to Boost your Business and add Pizzazz to your Coaching Practice!

If you are a coach or therapist and are interested in a free sample coaching tool, click here >>

Day 283 - February 18th 2009

Flying Visits - Food for Thought!

So, I had a wonderful time at the baby shower! I got to surprise the mom to be, meet lots of new people, experience a different culture, be amazed by the number of women with perfect eyebrows, eat wonderful yummy Indian food and delicious spiced tea, catch up with clients turned friends AND experience what it's like to be put on a pedestal...

Whenever I was introduced it was "This is Emma who I've told you so much about...", or a friend or cousin would come over and would be pointing interestedly behind me (supposedly without me seeing) "So, this is the 'famous' Emma - your lifecoach???"

So, as Rav drove me to the ferry I had been busy lecturing her (and no that isn't what lifecoaching is about!) about how she needs to charge more for her services - she runs an event organizing business with the mom-to-be. I had been busy pointing out that she doesn't value what she does enough, that not everyone has the organizational skills and creativity that they have, and that they were under-selling themselves...

Anyhow, we were early (I had checked the timetable this time) so she mentioned that she noticed I had been uncomfortable when she introduced me to people. I confessed I had been. That I felt like they had put me on a pedestal - crediting me with far more than I had actually done as their life-coach. And the problem with pedestals is that it's easy to fall off and get broken. I valued their friendship and was afraid things might change when they found out I was human after all... You see I believe the changes and growth my clients achieve is all their own doing. All I do is give them some one-on-one attention, help them look inside and see who they really are, what they want from life and take action to make it happen.

Well. Right back at me! As our chat progressed, Rav pointed out that perhaps I didn't value what I had done enough! That not everyone has the skills to listen and help people grow, to share new perspectives without telling people how to be, to truly encourage and support and allow people to unfold their own way of being in the world.

So, since then I have been pondering. I want to inspire people to be authentic, to have the life of their dreams, to create their own happiness, to grow spiritually. That's one of the reasons I started this blog - to inspire people to get in touch with their values and do something different with their lives like we have.

But isn't it a bit silly to want to inspire people, and then when people tell me I've done just that, to say "Who me? No. Don't be silly!"

So, that's my project. To become comfortable with being in the spotlight occasionally. To accept a compliment and believe it. To truly believe that I can be an inspiration to others. Because I'm not done with inspiring people just yet! I have PLANS!

To wrap up - I believe WE ALL have the CAPACITY TO INSPIRE OTHERS. Through what we say, do or perhaps simply just by being ourselves. And if I have to get used to it - so can you! 

Day 281 - February 16th 2009

Flying Visits - Ferry Trauma!

Well, I got invited to a previous client's baby shower in Vancouver! I credit these two amazing women with (nearly 4 years ago now) giving me the boost I needed to believe in myself as a lifecoach! And I was supposed to suprise the mom-to-be!

So, I really wanted to go to the baby shower and celebrate with them. It was on a Sunday, so I consulted the ferry timetables - and although it would be a long day - I realised I could get the 7.30am and return on the 9.35pm - to get home around midnight. Hurrah! And because the ferries are quite pricey (would have been about $150 for a daytrip!) I decided to try being a foot passenger - a new experience!

WELL, WHY I though the ferry was 7.30am I have no idea! We arrived at about 7.12am only to discover the ferry was at 7.15am and was about to leave. Damn damn damn. There wasn't another ferry until 3pm - too late for me! I was SCREWED and pretty mad at myself!

Duncan (hubbie) calls this my "Timetable Dyslexia". Even after double or even triple-checking I can still get the wrong day mix up am/pm and basically make a complete mess of travel plans.

Well, as it turned out, I noticed the ferry wasn't moving and was about to head back into the terminal to PLEAD to be let on when I noticed the lady behind the counter urgently motioning me in! I raced in breathless, to discover they were waiting for one of the crew members and I could go aboard!

WHAT A RELIEF! The nice lady suggested I buy a lottery ticket as it appeared to be my lucky day... I sped down the ramp, gave the attendant my credit card receipt (instead of the boarding pass) and headed to the lounge to eat my (very Salt Spring) healthy homemade Bircher muesli and a cup of tea.

Boy did I feel great - and very stupid - all at the same time!

I was later told by some regular ferry-goers that it's often the Captain that's late - although there aren't exactly any traffic problems on Salt Spring. That might explain why the ferry was waiting...

AND, true to form, living in a small community - I recognized one of the ferry staff - a lovely lady from the women's writing group I belong to! So she came and found me for a quick chat later on.

Taking the ferry early in the morning means you get to watch the amazing sunrise as you cruise through the various islands to Vancouver. Beautiful. For once, the ferry being late was a good thing! Thank-you BC Ferries.

I (CONTINUE TO) LOVE ISLAND LIFE!

Oh - and if you think you might want to set some goals for 2009...

It's Friday, so why not click here to Download 2009 Goal-Setting Funsheet 3 sided.

It's (my gift to you!) fun and simple - takes about 15 minutes and helps you pick 3 goals and set an action for each to do in January and get moving!

You can also go here to my life coaching website for some other free coaching tools to help you coach yourself and get your life sorted out!

Enjoy!

Love Emma-Louise.

Day 205 - December 2nd 2008

Email Sabbatical Update ( and Confession!) 

OK, so I confess. I have been checking email. It started off innocently enough: I had some tasks to do for a networking group for which I am on the board - and most things are done by email. But while I was there I would just quickly check other things and open and delete others. And before I knew it at the end of last week I was - again - feeling overwhelmed by email.

So this week I am REALLY testing myself. I last checked email Sunday night - and whilst I have sent one email (I promised a website link to someone) I have not hit the very tempting "Send and Receive" Button.

Now it is only Tuesday afternoon. But I think (apart from holidays) that this is a record for me.

Interestingly what I have learned so far:

1. Basically I am the problem... Yes, others (that I know and don't know) may send me email - often when a phonecall could be simpler or faster - but it's ME that interrupts my work to check email.
2. If I don't check my email until lunchtime (I have done this a lot recently) I have a VERY PRODUCTIVE morning.
3. I keep checking email because I fear them growing out of control. It's the old, "A stitch in time saves nine" metaphor - but on steroids! Constantly checking email to avoid a backlog just interrupts my work, feeds any procrastinative (is that a word?) impulses I may have and makes me significantly less productive.
4. I feel obliged to reply to all my emails. And with the volume I get, that means I feel like I am constantly sprinting just to stay on top of them. I worry that people will think I am rude if I don't reply. Isn't it interesting that we have this societal need to be polite - to not hurt other's feelings. In the email arena this means we put other's needs before our own - by spending our precious time replying to unsolicited emails - sometimes from people we don't even know!
5. I worry what I might be missing out on. This is a very human condition - we don't like to feel excluded! And in business who knows what might come through via email? For example - I recently got a lucrative contract as a spokesperson via an initial email - and replying promptly. The most valid fears are the hardest to beat...

Technology is amazing AND yes, we are using it to stay in touch (and get back in touch!) more. But somehow we are becoming more DISconnnected with what's really important. Real 'in-time' contact - whether quality time with family and friends, a business meeting or a phonecall.

Like everyone else I use email because it's very convenient. We can fire something off quickly and with little effort by email. When we pick up the phone we need to think things through beforehand, and make an effort to be pleasant and professional. Email allows us to just type, review (some people miss this step...) and send - whatever mood we are in - with least effort.

So. I'm not going to check email until next Monday - and we'll see then if the world has ended...

Watch for future updates!

Day 168 - October 27th 2008

Email Sabbatical - Progress Report 1

What is an email sabbatical? That's a very good question. Well, since July (August really) I have been trying to make/find/create the time to work on life-coaching products. This is my dream - to have a website that is a resource for individuals AND fellow life-coaches.

So, I start things, I have great ideas - and for a lot of the products it simply means simply tweaking what I've been using with my clients. But my dream never seems to happen or move forwards.

And I know email is a big part of the problem. 1) Volume, 2) New and interesting opportunities and enquiries that come through via email and 3) My inability to NOT CHECK EMAIL, distract myself and get caught up in 1) and 2).

So, this email sabbatical is an experiment. The auto-responder telling people went on last Thursday lunchtime at 12.00pm. And since then I have had a few realizations...

REALIZATION NUMBER 1. In preparation for switching on my auto-responder, I began to unsubscribe from lots of newsletters and ezines. I hadn't realised I subscribed to SO MANY! and by this morning my email had already reduced significantly! I unsubscribed from a few more and it seems by head is already clearer...

REALIZATION NUMBER 2. The pull of email is stronger than I realised. I spent an hour going through my email (although I did make a couple of phone calls instead of write emails) before I even realised that the time had gone. And each of those emails I responded to already knows I'm on sabbatical because they will have received my auto-responder response. I am more of the problem than I realised...

REALIZATION NUMBER 3. The phone - takes more 'personal' effort than email. Maybe that's why we use email when really a phonecall would be quicker/easier. If you phone, you have to think about what you're going to say, be bright and cheery, look up the phone number and USE YOUR INTERPERSONAL SKILLS! It's more tiring than sitting down and whizzing off an email. But the phone is also better for creating a HUMAN CONNECTION. More on this later.

I think I am going to have to wean myself off email rather than go cold turkey... Enjoy your week people!

Hairy Buddha

It has been quite amazing what a difference adding a dog to our household has made. Not only are we more constricted in our movements (cat-sitters are much easier to find than dog-sitters) but I have found myself having to examine myself more closely...

Anyone who has seen The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan) or any animal-psychology makeover programme knows that animals sense our energy. Cesar is all about Calm-Assertive energy, about being consistent. In order for the dog to behave and do what you ask it needs to believe you are the leader - that you're IN charge and you know what you're doing. For some dogs it doesn't take much and for others - like the lovely Dexter - it is a constant battle.

For example, when we first got Dexter he couldn't walk on a lead without literally yanking your arm off. And then every thing that wasn't a 'normal' human got barked and vigourously leapt at - often straining at the leash on just his hind-legs. Man with backpack, woman on bicycle, child on skateboard, woman in wheelchair (that was embarrassing!), black sack on the sidewalk, horse, sheep, motorbike, woman with towel on head. The list goes on. But gradually through correcting him and ignoring supposed 'threats' he is much better.

But he still pulls on the lead and won't always come when you call him. Like I said. He doesn't believe we're in charge - he thinks he is.

Hence the self-examination. Calm-Assertive Energy. What is that? How do you do that? It's harder to implement than it sounds. When Dexter is going nuts it's all too easy to yell or get frustrated. I become Tense-Frustrated. They seem to know.

So, I now find myself constantly checking my energy. Am I Calm-Assertive? Most times I am not. I may be one or the other, but rarely both. But when I focus on it and I AM Calm-Assertive, not only is Dexter easier but LIFE is much easier. No faffing around, no stress just calm getting things done.

So, this morning, having finished a good book, I took Dexter for his walk. I WAS naturally Calm-Assertive. I decided to ENJOY him. Usually I see the walk as a battle of wills and I have to be strong. Instead, I ENJOYED his big black nose, ginger eyelashes and constant testing of me. Instead I thought - he's behaving as any adoloscent would - he WON'T get his way and I WILL ENJOY the process.

And that is a good metaphor for everyday life. If we resist what IS, if we see things as a battle - they will be. Instead if we ENJOY the process of life - if we allow others to be themselves and not take it personally - AND remain calm and assertive, how much easier would OUR lives be? 

Wherever you go, there you are.

Letting Go - Part 1 (of many I would imagine)

I forget who said "Wherever you go, there you are." - I think it was Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Because people keep asking "How's it going on Salt Spring?" And of course it's fanTASTic. I LOVE it here. I LOVE the potential this place has, the peace & quiet, the space, I LOVE walking the dog and getting out in nature and strolling along the beach in the evening, I LOVE taking it easier, I LOVE checking the veg garden and seeing what is coming up - have the tomato flowers been pollinated? Are the tomatoes coming yet? I LOVE making my favourite foods - French Onion Soup (with the cheese/bread topping), Cornish Pasties, Shortbread, Strawberry Jam etc.

And yet, I often wake up and feel a sense of mild panic. MILD panic, but panic nonetheless. I never ask "What have we done?", it's more "What happens if this doesn't work out?".

Well, (I hope Duncan will excuse me for paraphrasing him here - I've probably summarised it wrong) Duncan is worried how he will feel if he has to go back to a "normal job" and work/commute in 2 years time (we've given ourselves 2 years to make this work).

Of course my worries and fears are MORE ridiculous. I'm worried where we'll be in 30 years - what happens when we retire/get old? If we enjoy ourselves and live this lifestyle for the next 30 years will we run out of money and be homeless on the streets?